C is for Coffee

Gimme some sugar

  As part of L’Aussie Writer’s APPRECIATING THE ZEALOTRY Challenge, I am re-posting one of my favorites from the April A-Z Challenge.

Pour yourself a cup, sit back and enjoy!

38 seconds.

That’s the time it takes from pushing the button on my Keurig to taking my first morning sip. I know this because I timed it. Yep – 38 seconds. That’s about as close to instant gratification (instant caffeinification?) as one can get. Unless someone invents an IV-drip.

I’ve actually perfected a method of sloshing in a dollop of milk from the jug while my cup is still brewing so as not to waste an additional precious 2 seconds. Full-on fast-fix coffee junkie.

The Keurig is a cool little vampire of a machine. It neatly and efficiently impales the K-cup and sucks the lifebrew out of it. Sweet black ichor drains into my cup in 38 seconds!

cup o' caffeine

cup o’ caffeine

Lately there’s been a lot of brew-ha-ha (LOL) in the New York Times and other media regarding the actual price of coffee per pound for single-serve machines. “You’re paying $50 a pound using that thing,” according to my mother-in-law.

Did I mention…I get my coffee in 38 SECONDS?

I am the only coffee drinker in the household. This is my luxury. Still under a dollar a cup. Show me the person who can walk into Starbucks and spend less than a dollar. I’ll admit, I did buy the little fill-your-own filter thingy because I am feeling slightly guilty about all my empty K-cups piling in the landfill. I haven’t used it yet, but I plan on trying it soon…as soon as I wake up one morning and find I am out of K-cups!

Yes, I have allowed convenience to compromise my coffee-consuming rituals. I used to grind (burr mill is better than the blade types) and scoop and measure cold filtered water and blah blah 38 SECONDS blah. And most likely I will do so again, once summer comes and I can make and store iced coffee to drink whenever. But for now…it’s K all the way, baby.

Please don’t tell my dad. He is a freshaholic coffee freak. He not only grinds each cup as he goes, but he also roasts his own beans. In a popcorn popper. True story. He orders the raw beans online (they are green, for the record)  and researched this home roasting method. It takes a very specific kind of popper that isn’t as easy to find on the market anymore. He’s burned through a couple of them already. The coffee tastes great, but let me tell you, the smell while it’s roasting is foul. Like burning tires. It’s got to be carcinogenic. (Now there’s a C word!) Once he grinds it, it releases the wonderful “coffee” smell that even non-coffee drinkers admit smells pretty darn good. And there’s no denying it is the freshest cup around.

But it ain’t no 38 seconds.

Enjoy this catchy coffee-sipping song…I’m off to brew!


14 thoughts on “C-O-F-F-E-E

  1. I love love love my coffee… but no 38 seconds for me… I think that I am from the same school as your dad although I haven’t started the bean roasting thing.

  2. Dana says:

    Thirty-eight seconds! I need one of those machines!

  3. 38 seconds is seriously fast! I don’t own a coffee machine by choice. I drink tea at home and buy my coffee when I’m out and about. I’m afraid I pay a bit more per cup than you do! Your dad must be a very serious affictionado! Enjoy your brew!

    Thank you for re-posting for our blogfest!


    Because WP doesn’t like blogger comments, I use twitter here. My URL is : http://laussieswritingblog.blogspot.com

    • jesstopper says:

      Hi Denise,
      Thanks for stopping by – and for hosting the super-cool re-cap on your page! I wish I was a tea drinker. It seems like so much fun – all the cute little teabags and pots, etc. LOL Yeah, I am still a sucker for buying coffee out too, it’s a luxury to just sit in a cafe with a cup!

  4. Linda K says:

    That was a fun post on coffee. I manage one cup in the morning that my husband makes (fresh ground, fresh brewed as he likes to say). The rest of the day I am a tea person. If I think of coffee, I like it best from a French press–black and strong.

  5. Great post, as a non-coffee drinker I have to agree, the ground beans do smell good. Some cafes have been known to sprinkle crushed beans into the sidewalk cracks so when people step on them they smell the coffee and want a cup.

    • jesstopper says:

      Wow, that is ingenious! I put them in my vacuum cleaner bag (sounds weird, but it helps get rid of odd smells your vacuum picks up. Cinnamon too.)

  6. Donna Hole says:

    I’m late to this post, I know, but I bet the universe just knew I’d need this humor at this exact moment in time 🙂

    I get my caffeine from a can – of Diet Pepsi. Takes less that 38 seconds to pop the top, lol.

    Thank you, thank you, for participating in the RFW Appreciating the Zealotry, and for being so thoroughly entertaining.


    • jesstopper says:

      Thanks for popping by, Donna – glad I gave you a laugh. 🙂 Yes, you have me beat time-to-caffeine wise, by flipping that top! I have a friend who drinks Diet Pepsi every morning like coffee. I can accept that – but when we go out to breakfast, she orders Diet Pepsi and chocolate chip pancakes. That’s a bit too much sweetness, IMO! LOL

  7. nutschell says:

    Way better than standing in line at starbucks! 🙂

  8. Andy says:

    I don’t own a coffee machine, but I’ve had my eyes on a Keurig for the longest while. My wife keeps telling me this is a “want” & not a “need” & “how many times will you really use it”. She’s right, but there’s no harm in wishing. I tend to drink a lot of coffee at work…but it’s soooo expensive! 38 seconds is real fast. I think my tea kettle takes longer than that just to boil! Enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.

    Tearful Maiden

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