C is for Coffee

Gimme some sugar

38 seconds.

That’s the time it takes from pushing the button on my Keurig to taking my first morning sip. I know this because I timed it. Yep – 38 seconds. That’s about as close to instant gratification (instant caffeinification?) as one can get. Unless someone invents an IV-drip.

I’ve actually perfected a method of sloshing in a dollop of milk from the jug while my cup is still brewing so as not to waste an additional precious 2 seconds. Full-on fast-fix coffee junkie.

The Keurig is a cool little vampire of a machine. It neatly and efficiently impales the K-cup and sucks the lifebrew out of it. Sweet black ichor drains into my cup in 38 seconds!

cup o' caffeine

cup o' caffeine

Lately there’s been a lot of brew-ha-ha (LOL) in the New York Times and other media regarding the actual price of coffee per pound for single-serve machines. “You’re paying $50 a pound using that thing,” according to my mother-in-law.

Did I mention…I get my coffee in 38 SECONDS?

I am the only coffee drinker in the household. This is my luxury. Still under a dollar a cup. Show me the person who can walk into Starbucks and spend less than a dollar. I’ll admit, I did buy the little fill-your-own filter thingy because I am feeling slightly guilty about all my empty K-cups piling in the landfill. I haven’t used it yet, but I plan on trying it soon…as soon as I wake up one morning and find I am out of K-cups!

Yes, I have allowed convenience to compromise my coffee-consuming rituals. I used to grind (burr mill is better than the blade types) and scoop and measure cold filtered water and blah blah 38 SECONDS blah. And most likely I will do so again, once summer comes and I can make and store iced coffee to drink whenever. But for now…it’s K all the way, baby.

Please don’t tell my dad. He is a freshaholic coffee freak. He not only grinds each cup as he goes, but he also roasts his own beans. In a popcorn popper. True story. He orders the raw beans online (they are green, for the record)  and researched this home roasting method. It takes a very specific kind of popper that isn’t as easy to find on the market anymore. He’s burned through a couple of them already. The coffee tastes great, but let me tell you, the smell while it’s roasting is foul. Like burning tires. It’s got to be carcinogenic. (Now there’s a C word!) Once he grinds it, it releases the wonderful “coffee” smell that even non-coffee drinkers admit smells pretty darn good. And there’s no denying it is the freshest cup around.

But it ain’t no 38 seconds.

Enjoy this catchy coffee-sipping song…I’m off to brew!


18 thoughts on “C-O-F-F-E-E

  1. I’m guessing you REALLY like coffee.

    Moody Writing

  2. It takes me 43 seconds only because I pour left over coffe in a mug and zap it in the microwave for about 40 sec. This is my first taste of the morning followed by a homemade latte’ about 25 minutes later. The wonderful thing about making my own lattes is the fact that I used about a fourth of a cup of nonfat milk and the rest is espresso shots. Mmm! It heavenly!
    Loved your story!
    Peach State

  3. LWSpotts says:

    I call it the elixir of the gods.

  4. I understand your passion, though I actually hate coffee. I’ve tried it all kinds of ways–even with chocolate and I I just can’t get a taste for it. BUT, I a deeply attached to my glass of iced tea in the morning. : )

    • jesstopper says:

      My husband is like that too. He thinks it would be neat to be a coffee drinker, but just hates the taste. He’s a tea guy all the way. Meanwhile, I would LOVE to be a tea drinker. I love all the cute little tea bags and strainers, etc. But the taste makes me gag. Thanks for popping by!

  5. MOV says:

    Hello Jess,

    What a great post! I think this is my new favorite blog! I am a coffee-aholic, and am now a little bit jealous that I did not do coffee for letter c. I will definitely be back to see what you dream up for the other letters, and to read more of your lovely writing. I am following now.

    I am doing the A to Z Challenge as well. Take a peek at my blog too if you get a chance! I write humor, and everyone says I am the funniest person on the planet (well, maybe it is just the voices in my head saying that—that’s the doctor’s latest explanation—but I will take what I can get).


    • jesstopper says:

      Thanks, MOV! With my coffee and your magic Anthropologie dress (loved that piece to pieces!) we can take over the world! Good luck with A-Z, I’ll be watching you (but not in a creepy stalker-in-an-El-Camino kind of way).

  6. Melissa says:

    Mmmm coffee! The elixir of life. I have yet to purchase a Kerig, but the 38 second time stamp to the first cup might just push me in that direction. Great post! I look forward to the rest of the challenge.

  7. Wendy says:

    I don’t have a Keurig, but I enjoyed a cup at a friend’s house once. Good coffee, indeed! Visiting from A to Z.

  8. 38 seconds!! I’ve got to get me a Keurig!

    It takes me more than 38 seconds to open my eyes in the morning!

    • jesstopper says:

      Mine is a 5-size selection machine, and yes, 38 seconds for the “teacup” size. I find when I up it to the “mug” size, the coffee tastes like brown water. Took me a few days to find my perfect brew! Thanks for stopping by!

  9. Amanda Usen says:

    I’m coming over…

  10. timsbrannan says:

    We have a Technivorm Moccamaster coffee maker. Had to get it imported from Holland, but it is the best coffee I have used in my 35+ years of being a coffee drinker. It even made give up my home-town favorite of a Bunn.

    The Other Side
    The Freedom of Nonbelief

  11. Brilliant minds think a like! It is hard to wait those 38 seconds though 😉

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